Miniature Hero

Well that nagging feeling I had on Tuesday where I was sure I had forgotten something turned out to be right. I had forgotten Valentines day and a quick stop at the off license and the 24 hour garage on the way home from work didn’t save the day. I presented my dearly beloved valentine with a bottle of Cava and a large box of miniature Heroes (her favorite, or at least she said they were at Christmas). She tutted and mumbled something along the lines of “hopeless”. I get the feeling she was expecting something a bit different. I feel a lot different in myself after giving up smoking. I’m generally more positive and getting slightly less stressed about it all however this hasn’t had the effect of turning me into a blissful romantic who expresses fake wonder at daffodils and kittens and stuff. I still think Poldark is crap.

I think she was expecting lingerie or something but I find women’s shops intimidating. I was genuinely relieved when the local discount shop brought out a one pound bra. I feel quite at ease in a shop which has everything for a pound including budget bras. I was hoping this would pass as sexy stylish underwear and would be deemed a suitable romantic gift but the wife has told me it’s not acceptable. Apparently it’s not fancy enough. And furthermore she says she is against the shop on principle because nothing can be produced that cheap without the use of underage child labour in conditions that make Oliver Twist look like Center Parcs. She’s forgetting that everything is a pound including miniature Heroes!


That nagging feeling…

Well I’m now 6 weeks smoke free. The anxiety had subsided until this morning when I awoke with that terrible feeling that I’ve forgotten something really bloody important! On the way to work I popped into the 24 hour garage thinking, what the hell is it I’ve forgotten?!?!? I felt that feeling of anxious déjà vu that a 24 hour garage had some significance. I glanced at a cheap bunch of flowers wilting in a bucket and felt a sort of jolt in my stomach. Was the car due its service? I went into the supermarket to pick up my daily meal deal where I was immediately met with an array of Easter Eggs meticulously arranged in a giant pyramid. I’m pretty sure it’s not Easter yet so I haven’t forgotten that as it’s not quite time to remember. I’ll wait for that one until it’s time to forget until the last minute.

I’m pretty sure giving up smoking has affected my memory somewhat. Before I gave up I had a strict routine of buying fags first thing in the morning then once I had my fix my mind would be reeling and double checking everything so no one could accuse me of only ever thinking about myself. Since giving up smoking I am so preoccupied with not smoking that I seem to forget a lot lately. And why is there a giant bouquet of red roses in reception? This is a very strange day. Oh, and I see Barbara in accounts has relapsed on the milk tray again. Seems I’m not the only one struggling with New Year’s resolutions today.