Well it’s day 3 into my quit smoking journey and I have to say I’m feeling pretty crap. I’m no Willy Wonka, I’m not into sugar coating shit! I feel wretched, confused and anxious. People have twigged now that I’m giving up smoking (again). They didn’t notice that I had actually stopped smoking, they just noticed my incredibly bad mood, irritability and short temper.
The vivid dreams have started as well. I had an awful nightmare last night about offices and co-workers and a pile of paperwork to trawl through only to wake up and find it was actually happening! I dreamed that I walked into the office, sat at my desk where there were some old Christmas cards and an empty plate with biscuit crumbs left on it and I sighed heavily as I faced my PC. Five hours later it has become a reality coupled with acute nicotine withdrawal! The question now is, how the hell do I get through today?!?!?
I’m now concerned that things will get far worse before they get better. I’m booked in for another appointment with the quit smoking service. Hopefully they will supply me with some kind of medication, or nicotine replacement therapy or whatever really. I feel I need some kind of heavy sedative or even locking up as I’m mentally unhinged right now. I’ll do anything to take this feeling of irritability and anxiety away apart from drink alcohol because then I will just not give a shit and start smoking again.
For some reason the anxiety is worse this time round. I haven’t started feeling the really bad physical withdrawals yet, it’s the anxiety for now which is getting to me.