So, my desire to stop smoking has had the curious effect of me wanting to write things in this blog. This is my first ever blog and I’m finding it extremely beneficial whenever I feel the need to have a smoke, to come on here and write something however trivial it may be. I haven’t actually quit yet, although I have cut down and I have set my quit date for New Years Day. I’m just wondering if anyone else experienced some noticeable behavior changes when they also either decided to or actually quit (apart from the standard ones such as pacing up and down, shouting at the wife and kids or eating incessantly).
In fact when I think about it, my behaviors and activities throughout the course of my adult life have been largely determined by whether or not I will be able to smoke. I often make excuses not to go to certain places because it’s either difficult or not permitted to smoke. I made up an excuse not to visit our sick mother-in-law when she was in hospital as the hospital is a smoke-free-zone and you have to actually walk some distance off the premises before you can smoke. That’s really shameful when I think about it as my wife needed the support. The more I think about these things the more I want to be free of this addiction.
I may have to consider filling my time up with other things which my smoking had excluded me from such as jogging or going to the gym. Is this really me saying this?!?!? I’ve never jogged in my life and at school I always bunked off P.E. choosing to slope off round the back of the bike sheds to smoke. Remaining in one place for any great length of time has also been a challenge. I excluded myself from trips to the cinema or certain more healthy activities or dinner parties or whatever because I knew I wouldn’t be able to smoke. I have even made up some really bonkers excuses as to why I can’t go on long journeys such as I can’t be in confined spaces like a train (even though I regularly use them on short journeys) or some other rubbish.
If people ever see me out jogging they might become suspicious and the game will be up. I still haven’t told anyone apart from medical professionals that I’m intending to quit. I don’t think the extra pressure will help. Someone will notice soon though. Tearing an innocent bystanders head off in a fit of nicotine withdrawal might be a giveaway.