Last day of real work.

Well not only is it the weekend but Christmas is rapidly approaching and so is…..AHHHH New Year’s Eve! Upon which I will be embarking on my new fag free existence. I’ve already started stressing about it and as a result I’m smoking even more! Someone at work offered some advice, she said “start making a smoking diary up to when you actually give up, that way the Doctor or local stop smoking service will be able to determine how much nicotine replacement therapy you’ll need like patches or chewing gum.”

That’s all very well until I get down the boozer and smoke like a bloody chimney, and diary’s and well my general ability to communicate tends to deteriorate directly in proportion with how much alcohol I consume so I can’t guarantee the accuracy of any such record. I may just tell the Doctor or therapist that I smoke bloody  loads, more than I can actually count to and that way they’ll have me looking like a very badly made patchwork quilt with all the patches they’ll be sticking to me.

They’ll probably have to stick a very strong one over my mouth and perhaps use them like duct tape to tie my hands behind my back! Can you get nicotine patches on a roll? That’s not a bad idea, nicotine bandages maybe, hey I might have something here!


Anyway on a brighter note, today was probably the last day that anything gets done at work as next week it’s the usual office parties, mundane festivities and generally doing nothing of real consequence. Next week we’re all getting paid to drift peacefully toward the Christmas break. I have an excel spreadsheet which I may tweak by moving stuff around or changing the colour of the column headers or summink. It’s always handy to have a spreadsheet open on your desktop so people think you’re actually doing something. And it’s the office Christmas night out next Friday where we all get pissed and share each other’s fags!


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